and I know you from where? elementary school? I don’t know you, man…

You know that friend whose perception of your friendship seem to grow ever more removed from that of your own? You know the one that insists on “hanging out” and “catching up” even though the only thing that is binding you is a sense of altruistic pity you feel for his/her undying adulation [reasonable or not] for your fabulosity? That was pompous. The one that sends you long facebook messages out of the blue like ya’ll are tight. The kind of messages that gains the kind of reply that will cool a desert, straight like – “okay”. When you really want to say, Damn you; I thought that was a message from someone important. SMH. The one that sends you random text messages even though you haven’t responded to any for like years? Well, ok, the last one is about another category of people that are labeled, “Cray cray stalkers” in my phone.

Before you go looking for stones to throw at me, let me acknowledge that I know that there are two sides to a situation no matter how thin you slice it. And I know, coming from the other side is le wack. I’m not dissin’, but I just wanted to air out this grievance:

The situation is awkward. As much as I like to keep it “real”, I am AWFFLE with breakups of any kind. Even though I’d rather iron dresses that I never wear than to go get drinks/a meal with a “friend”, 9 out of 10 times, I find myself trying to make the dull reality of the wackness in front of me go away.

Here’s to hoping my lack of correspondence will signal an automatic rain check for Neverember, 32, 2099.

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