I don’t even k…

I don’t even know how to title this post. I’m sitting here, trying, in vain, to soothe my dry irritated eyes with some Visine when it occurred me to procure some of the Extremely Effective ointment I used to use when I was little. So I Googled the Chinese name to find its English translation: [...]

Great American Losers, free sexual marketplace

“Lipsyte, Shteyngart, and Price are, of course, writing about some of the same social conditions that Houellebecq also identifies (and rails against): the decade or two of post-college bachelorhood that has become standard among the educated middle class during which men (and women) continually risk romantic rejection and size themselves up in relation to their [...]

“Widespread ignorance bordering on idiocy is our new national goal. It’s no use pretending otherwise and telling us, as Thomas Friedman did in the Times a few days ago, that educated people are the nation’s most valuable resources. Sure, they are, but do we still want them? It doesn’t look to me as if we [...]

It’s all about the benjamins

Hester Street Flea hosted a “Stylist Day” tent over the weekend. I took some time off from my vice filled rager of a social life to rock the booth with the homie Jessica as attempt to cleanse our lives and speak some guapanese (namsayin’). It was tres brutal, mes amis. Now, while I appreciate every [...]

am so sorry if I am not like a proper ambassador for your brand. totes respect the integrity of your selective representation, but omg, the crazy tranny in me can’t stop thinking about these shoes.

My texture is the best fur chinchilla

I get really cold in the winter time, like, between Dec to March, my teef is always chattering from the brickness enveloping the city, piercing through my bones and breaking down my soul. So even though it’s August, I am already preparing for the misery to come. To that end, I plan on expanding my [...]

say hi to the bad guy

Hello. I was a petulant child. When something didn’t go my way – say, somebody wanted me to take a nap when I wanted to run buckwild in the streets, I would throw a fit writhing on the floor, screaming, and maybe attacking an adult or two. Trifling. May or may not be the cause [...]

Lucifer son of da morning i’m gonna chase you out of earth

Things that annoyed me this week. 1. Channel surfing and hearing a brief note about: “COMING UP, Mike Tyson speaking out finally about his daughter’s death.” I know schadenfreude, I know that extra tingly sensation that comes with US Weekly and shit, I know it’s a business. When did we degenerate to  this point where [...]

so what was oh so special then?

Post-the greatest night of my life so far, I thought to write a dedication of sorts to the most important rapper of our time, similar to the dedicace to hip hop that was the narrative frame in Brown Sugar [incidentally, also significant in its quotability.] Unfortunately, there is lacking of a handsome male counterpart with [...]

Ma, what chu wanna do? I’m in front of you

Well, dust me with coke and call me a biddie, but I just love that smell of cologne mixed with a hint of dark liquor. Somebody bottle it quick and call it womanizer.